I love my little superstar

I am constantly in awe of Porter. When I was pregnant, I kept telling Joe that I was so afraid of Porter having autism that it actually kept me up all night. Not that I wouldn't love him any less than I do now, but I wanted to have that "perfect" child. I know, it may sound super selfish of me, but I am going to admit it. When Porter was born, I had no idea how to handle a baby. What do I feed him? When do I feed him? How on earth do I handle having a boy? How do I play with him? Endless questions. The little guy is almost 18 months, and he constantly surprises me with how amazing he is. I don't know where he should be developmentally or if I am doing the right things on a day-to-day basis. I don't know if I am stimulating him enough, feeding him enough, giving him too much/not enough love. I read other mom blogs, and I constantly check back to see if Porter is where they are. I guess it is that constant need for perfection/competition that I have in me. Or, perhaps, it is because I do not have a job right now other than raising Porter. And, think about it...what a stressful job! I am responsible for raising Porter to be a good, caring person. I definitely didn't have that much responsibility at any of my other jobs! And, I don't even get paid to do this job. But, it isn't a job, and I do get paid...in huge hugs that almost knock me down and precious little "kisses". I get to have someone depend solely on me and rewards me with hugs and putting his sweet head on my shoulder. My heart flutters whenever he is being loving to me, and I tear up thinking about him at any moment. Never has anyone frustrated me so much yet made me love him so much at the same time...well except for Joe. Porter is an amazing extension of Joe. I am the luckiest woman in the world to have two of the best boys (for me) in my life.

Porter is up to 115 words now and still learning more everyday. Wow. 115 words at 17 months. He can respond to your questions (you might not always understand him), and he notices everything. He picks up your keys and tries to unlock the doors. He will pick up your phone and bring it to you and say "Phone! Phone!" and it just happens to immediately ring right after he gives it to you. He knows what he wants and isn't afraid to tell you. "Porter, do you want more juice?" "NO!" Ok...lol. He sleeps in his own big boy bed and will climb in and say "Night, Night" and then go to sleep. He is content to sit and read a book, and gives hugs to the girls.

I guess I must be doing something right. Or, I am extremely lucky. Somehow, I think that I am both.