I was driving to the airport last night to pick up a friend from the airport, and I started thinking about Joe coming home. When he gets home, he will have only been gone 4 months. The other guys in his unit will have been gone 14 months. Now, Joe has been over in Iraq before so this isn't his first time. But, the deployment feels almost silly since it is only for 4 months. However, it signifies something more: no more 3d ACR. No more Rear D and the horribleness of that. It was really rough and Joe was really impacted during those 17 months. It also means no more deployments with the unit and saying goodbye to our family here. All of my friends here have become my family. So, while Joe was only gone for 4 months, do we have the right to celebrate when he gets home? Do I have the right to go to the gym and get super excited about him coming home (right along with all of those other wives who have been missing their husbands for 14 months) and run up to him and give him a huge hug? Do I have that right? Will those other wives think badly of me? I worry about this at least once a day. I feel like we shammed this deployment but it has still been challenging. I will have still have been a single mom for 4 months.
What do you think? Honestly, please.
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8 comments:
I think you have every right to celebrate his homecoming. I think no matter how long the separation is, the reunion is exciting and special each time. Pat will only be gone 8.5 months this time, while the rest of the unit did 12 months. I definitely plan on being in the gym excited to see my husband and Ryan to see his Daddy again. I do not think any other wives will think it's wrong that you are happy to have Joe back, and if they do then they aren't very nice people to begin with. You have a lot to celebrate at the end of this, and be proud of being a single parent because it's hard!
I agree that you have every right to celebrate!! A deployment is a deployment. Iraq is Iraq. No matter the time, he was still gone and you had to deal with the challenges!
As in most things, take Porter's cue. Porter will be ecstatic to see his daddy after 4 months away, and Joe will want to come home to someone who is ecstatic to see him. Those two are the people who matter to you. There's a reason he will only be there for 4 months...because Rear-D was an in-country deployment. Anybody who would disparage your celebration doesn't understand your circumstances, and therefore their opinions don't matter.
It seems to me, as an outsider, that the key to living a military life is to do it with no regrets. Kids do this effortlessly, so follow Porter's lead and remember that any homecoming is worth celebrating.
You can definitely celebrate. And if you don't, I will. Av's buddy will be back, my handyman will be back, and the star of Rock Band will be home!!! There's lots to celebrate!!!
Oh my gosh Robyn I am about to smack you!!
OF COURSE you celebrate Joe's redeployment. 4 months, 9 months, 15 months. It all sucks!
And to be a single mommy on top of it all is a lot to deal with... like Erin said "Iraq is Iraq."
Plus I remember how hard it was for you with Joe's rear D position. That in itself was a baby deployment. I love you and hope you know that you are asking a silly question.
So now that I yelled away, when is he coming back?? :)
You darn well better be there celebrating your little tush off!!! Yes, he was only gone 4 months, but he was still gone. And this time around, you had a baby to worry about. I think it hast to be SOOO much harder for "single" moms than it is for me, and I am doing a full year!
It's not just the end of the 4 month deployment. It's the end of the last two awful years you two have had while dealing with Rear D and now a deployment to IRAQ. Celebrate the end of the craziness.
Not a single person is going to sit in that gym and judge you because you didn't do the whole thing. You aren't one of those obnoxious awful people who act like their world ended because he was gone for "soooooooo long". You appreciate the differences and are obviously super respectful of them being that you are worried about it so much!! But, if anyone judges you for celebrating the safe return of your husband from a war-zone, they are cruel and petty. Besides, shouldn't they be celebrating themselves?? Why would they be focusing on you??
Exactly...what they said!
And in my wise Brother's comments, yes, just as they all said. You bet your booty you celebrate!
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